Adopting Palesa
Date Added: 28/01/2009
"I've never even heard of Lesotho!" was a common statement that was made after people learned I was heading off to the Kingdom of Lesotho, Africa. My usual reply was, "Neither had I until recently!" .
I was to volunteer at a care centre called Beautiful Gate, for abandoned and HIV/AIDS affected children. But none of my friends and family were surprised I was leaving again; I’d previously worked in childcare, and volunteered in an orphanage in Hong Kong in 2000.
So in February 2006, I arrived in the capital of Lesotho, Maseru. I stood watching the pouring rain outside the airport, with half of my luggage having disappeared, and no one to pick me up! My immediate thought was, "What am I doing here!". Little did I know how much my life would change...
30% of Lesotho is living with HIV/AIDS
Lesotho (Le soo too) is a beautiful country and is surrounded by South Africa. It is also known as the Kingdom in the Sky, due to its high altitude and gorgeous mountains (which makes it very cold in winter; it's quite a sight to see snow fall in Africa!).
Unfortunately it is also classified as a fourth world country and has nearly 30% of its 1.8 million population living with HIV/AIDS. This insidious disease is wiping out the middle generation of Basotho (the people of Lesotho), leaving elderly grandparents to care for multiple children.
In many cases, children as young as 4 are being left to care for their siblings. Beautiful Gate is a place where these precious children can be loved and cared for. The aim of Beautiful Gate is for these children to either be reunited with family or adopted into a new family.
One little girl attached herself to me right from the start...
Soon I started my work there as a preschool assistant, working with children aged from 12 months to 3 years of age. I had a great time becoming friends with them and learning about each of their personalities.
One little girl, Mama, in particular attached herself to me right from the start. I had seen her the first week I was in Lesotho, and learned that she too, had arrived at Beautiful Gate the same week I had.
Mama had been staying with a local chief who had been trying to find her family; the chief then brought her to Beautiful Gate while investigations continued. She had been on the news and so each day when we took the preschoolers for their walk around our neighbourhood, people would stop and ask how she was doing and if anyone had come forward to say they knew her.
As for so many other children, no one came forward to say they knew her or knew where she came from. Mama and I became very close, and I would quite often get in trouble because she would get upset whenever I left the room. I dreaded the thought of how hard it would be when it came time to leave after my 6 months. I knew though, that Mama and the other children were being cared for and kept safe while they waited to be adopted.
Adopting Mama
During my first few months in Lesotho, I would often wonder why I was there. I didn't feel like I was making a big difference, and didn't understand why I was working with the preschoolers and not the babies as I had wanted to. My purpose in being there soon became clear to me though. I knew that even though I had gone there with no intentions of adopting, that my next step should be starting the process of seeing whether or not I could adopt Mama.
I prayed about it, spoke to my Basotho friends about it, and finally knew I needed to talk to my family about it. Being single and adopting had never even been a thought of mine. I had grown up knowing about adoption through friends, and had thought that if I ever got married that I would love to adopt children, so it was quite strange for me to be thinking about taking this step. I trusted that the right doors would be open for me if it were meant to be that Mama and I be mother and daughter.
Mama was now my daughter!
My family were very supportive and were very excited about the prospect of having this precious little girl join our family. Even my dad started to read the toy catalogues, just in case! Well after many meetings and reports, the lawyer was going to be taking the adoption request to the High Court on the coming Monday.
I had decided not to go to Beautiful Gate again until I knew the outcome of the court hearing. On 28th August, I got the phone call to say Mama was now my daughter! I was so excited and so relieved! I had spent months preparing myself to accept the outcome either way, but knew how devastated I would have been had I not been able to adopt her. I rang my parents back in Australia to tell them the great news; they were grandparents!
Then I phoned all my dear friends in Lesotho, who had been holding their breath too.
Palesa: Sesotho for flower
On the Wednesday I went to Beautiful Gate to pick up my precious daughter, whom I had named Palesa (which is Sesotho for Flower) Her name, Mama, meant ‘mother’ in English, which would have presented difficulties in an English-speaking country like Australia.
I had some close friends come with me to video the special day and when I walked into the preschool Palesa's face just lit up. She apparently had been sad that I hadn't been there for the last 2 days, but had been told that morning I was coming to pick her up and take her home with me. As soon as they told her that, she had a big smile on her face and started sweeping the floor of the preschool for my arrival. (To this day she still loves helping to clean!). We had a special time of prayer with the staff of Beautiful Gate, and spent time singing songs with the preschoolers.
Goodbye to Beautiful Gate
As is custom at Beautiful Gate, when a child is adopted they receive a special doll and the parents get to choose a beautiful quilt made by a church in America. I chose her special quilt, signed the official documents, and we set off on our new life together. It was hard saying goodbye to the other preschoolers; I was going to be having a month off and then go back to Beautiful Gate 2 mornings a week, but was looking forward to spending time with my daughter.
It was so amazing to see Palesa come out of her shell and just blossom. Another special day was to come, when my parents and a team from my church came to Beautiful Gate on a mission trip. Palesa bonded to my parents straight away and had a great time helping the guys on the team down on the building site with her toy tool kit!
Once upon a time in Lesotho…
We arrived back in Australia last year and look forward to going back to Lesotho in the near future. Palesa's favourite bedtime story is, "Once Upon a time in Lesotho….” She just loves hearing about the story of how we got to be family.
Palesa has adjusted amazingly well to life in Australia. She’s taken everything in her stride and just seemed to really go with the flow when we arrived home. Although I know she will have lots of questions as she grows up, my hope is that she will always know how much she is loved and valued, by all her family.
Sian
http://www.beautifulgatelesotho.org
If you’re interested in adoption, you can discuss issues surrounding adoption with our lovely and very informative Essential Baby members in our Adoption forum.http://members.essentialbaby.com.au/index.php?s=e03eb2af827bad8eb9c4bf7b7887526d&showtopic=626574
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